Wil You Accept My Love?
by Sensiblyquirky
Summary: Minerva writes a letter to Albus in which she tells him a few things she realized while she was at St. Mungo's. How will he respond? Attempts to analyze Albus.


Dear Albus,

I know that this past year was awful for you, and while in St. Mungo's I thought of no one else but you. Were you safe, had I failed our children; the list goes on and I realized I need to say some things to you. Why a letter, definitely not the Gryffindor way I know, but I do not want a response nor do I expect acknowledgement; all of which you would feel obligated to give me should I say this in person.

I would like to start by saying how much I admire you, Albus Dumbledore. Let me repeat, I admire you, Albus; the man not the great wizard. I look at you and I see what I could never be, and what we need more of: a good, calm, fun-loving, wonderful soul. I do not ignore your flaws, but rather embrace them as part of who you are. I have often wondered from what or whom you draw your strength, but know this Albus if you need me I am here. I'm always here for you, and if you just need to sit with me, please, Albus, ask. Let me help you like you have helped me. I would die for you, Albus. I am not being melodramatic, I realized, perhaps more now than ever before, that I would give my life to save yours.

There have been many times when I've wanted to hold you Albus, but I would rather be invited to do so. You were born to do good, Albus, but you were also born with a great capacity to love. Many times those two tenants on which you stand are in conflict with each other, and you live your life poised between objectivity and subjectivity. I do not envy you. I know it is difficult, and recent events agree with me.

Which brings me to my next point: Harry Potter. He loves and respects you, Albus. In time he will come to understand that you did indeed make a mistake, but for all the right reasons. He needs you, and you need him. He's the grandson you never had the chance to have, and I would suggest you approach him first. Let him see, truly see, you, Albus, and you will gain all you lost and so much more. Lily and James would be so proud of their son, and I know you are as well.

Love is a peculiar emotion: the greatest strength and weakness of man. While in a muggle area some years ago I overheard a myth I would like to repeat to you: At the start of the world a great being asked the mother elephant of earth, and the fathers eagle and whale of sky and ocean to join him. He gave each the same task: to hide love. The eagle soared to the highest mountain and hid love under the heaviest rock. The whale dove to the deepest depths of the ocean, and hid it in a giant clam. The elephant said she hid love in man, for it is the last place he would look for it. You have found that love, Albus, and you draw from its strength every day. I do hope that at some point in your life you allowed a woman to love you, so you may know what its like to be loved and not only to love. If you have not, know that a woman does love you, as she has never loved another. It is a strong, passionate love that will not die with my body. I give it to you, not expecting it in return, to carry with you wherever you go. One day you will depart from this realm, but my love will follow you Albus. On lonely, cold nights let it blanket you; let it warm you. It is the greatest way I can help you to pledge my body, my heart, and my soul to you.

Forever Yours,

Minerva

Albus' eyes scanned the last paragraph a few times before he placed the letter back on his desk. He sat there staring at the letter for a while just running his finger over her name before he moved to the window. Looking out over the grounds he caught sight of her walking toward the lake, her hair down and blowing in the summer breeze. Albus smiled softly as he watched her. Minerva came to a stop along the banks of the lake, and just stood there gazing upon the water.

"If anyone comes looking for me I am detained for the rest of the afternoon, and all evening Armando," Albus quietly told the portrait before he left his office in the direction of the lake.

When Albus came upon Minerva he softly placed his hand upon her shoulder, and then let it travel down her arm to her hand. "My dear, can I interest you in a walk before the sun sets?"

"That would be lovely, Albus," Minerva replied quietly knowing he had read the letter.

The walked around the lake at a leisurely pace never letting go of the others hand, and never uttering a word until they came to stop at the opposite side of the lake. As they stood looking out over the lake Albus dropped Minerva's hand, and tried to collect his thoughts before he spoke.

"When I was younger Aberforth was the object of many cruel jokes by boys our age because he was related to me, and I decided early that I could love people but letting others love me was dangerous. I've told myself for so many years that if I love them enough it is like they love me in return."

Here Albus paused and taking a deep intake of breath he continued, "After a while I started to convince myself I wasn't supposed to marry, and enjoy the love of a woman. I rationalized it that what kind of a life would it be for any woman, and who would put up with that. I'm at the school all the time, and she would have had to watch her back anytime she stepped out of the house. About twenty-five years ago I was going through a rough time, personally. I guess you could say I had run out of strength. I won't lie coming home every evening to an empty bed gets hard, but I had chosen that life and in the end I still thought it was for the best. I got through that time because of you. I'll never forget the moment I realized you were my strength, the person I lean on even though you may not know it. I was walking into the Great Hall for dinner, and you were already in your seat next to mine. You looked up the moment I walked in, and in the few seconds that you kept my eye contact I knew. Knew that my love for you would sustain me, yes I still wasn't letting myself be loved, but my affections for you are so deep and so strong that I was sure I would be fine."

After a moment Albus continued in a voice filled with emotion, "I'm asking for your love, Minerva. You deserve so much better, but I'm asking you to be there when I get home at night, to hold me when the stress is too much, to laugh with me, to let me wake up every day to the same sight: not an empty bed but your beautiful face. I'll do everything in my power to make sure you, -" but before Albus could finish his sentence Minerva had placed two slender fingers on his lips.

Stepping closer toward him Minerva leaned up to whisper in his ear, her cheek resting on his, "I know, Albus, I know." Albus' hands moved to move Minerva's face back in front of his. Stroking her cheekbones with his thumbs his eyes bore through hers before he leaned down to kiss her. Never breaking eye-contact Albus kissed Minerva: simple but strong. The passion would come later, all Albus wanted to express through that kiss was just how much he loved her, a deep never ending affection that would not erode with time but last well beyond the end of their days.

It was well past dark before they returned to the castle, and when they were nearing Minerva's room she passed the door and led Albus to his own office and into his own rooms. When they were in his bedroom Albus moved to a drawer and handed Minerva a pair of pajamas, "Here wear these."

In bed that night Albus allowed himself to be held for the first time: the soft bosom to pillow his head, the slender feminine but strong arms around his shoulders, and the weight beneath him to comfort him. As for Minerva this is what she had always wanted, to be able to share all the love she felt with this man and to know he not only returned it but also more importantly accepted it.


End file.
